Tuesday, November 14, 2006

What's In A Name?


Shakespeare evidently never experienced the irritation of being called Sheikh Speer or such. I am intrigued by this particular folly of his. Seldom have people got my name right. It took an effort back home to explain how my name is pronounced. Here in Singapore, I've given up. Say name cannot lah! I've heard anik, ban, gupta, datta, aniba and even honey bun for crying out loud! I guess I am destined to have an unpronounceable name. But it's fine. Really. I quite enjoy being called Bun, Bread and the occasional non bakery item such as Bongo. But what I dont enjoy is seeing my beloved city undergo a name change due to a politically fueled movement for freedom from "cultural enslavement".

As the world sadly knows by now, Bangalore is no more. It has rebranded itself, taking the local name for “city of cooked beans”. Now many might have a problem with the recognition issue, and say 'How can you change the name of the I.T. Capital of India?' But that's not what the main problem is. Yeah sure Bangalore, oh sorry, Bengalooru Mahanagara Palike will have to end up spending about 50 crores due to the name change, but the government sees this as an "investment". I'm not angry because no one will come to Bengalooru. In the end the name probably will catch on. I have good friends here from Mumbai, Chennai and Kolkata too. The printing industry is having a field day because of the new business. Good for them. Knock yourselves out. What I am disappointed about though is the motive behind the change.

For crying out loud, Bangalore has enough authenticity by itself. We have some of the country's greatest writers such as Girish Karnad and U.R. Ananthamurthy who write in Kannada as well as English. We have a thriving culture with Kannadiga organisations always conducting cultural programs and what not. We have more signboards in Kannada than in English. We feel it natural to converse with the local auto rickshaw guy in Kannada. We hardly talk to the shopkeepers in English or even Hindi for that matter. For any true Bangalorean, its culture is a part of our being. To even have to stoop as low as to create a need for culture, is appalling. We know all this, and yet the government claims a victory for authenticity and culture.

I'm not trying to dish out anti-establishment rubbish, but the actions speak for themselves. Over the past few years, radio stations, discotheques and even restaurants have been banned due to activist sensationalism and 'cultural freedom'. Sin thy name is English! The government recently went a step further when Basavaraj Horatti, the education minister threatened to ban more than 2,000 private schools that taught in English, not Kannada. Hell, call the city 'Ban' Galore if at all you want to change it's name!

So what is the fight about anyways? British Imperialism? I sense a wave of Kannadiga Imperialism coming on if you ask me! The British did not change our culture by changing the "authentic" name of our city. Are we really going to blame them for a mispronunciation? I think it was a completely uncalled for change, which does no good, but creates unnecessary friction and possible damage as well. I left Bangalore in July and will be going back to Bengalooru in December. That's not even amusing.

You don't change anything by calling anirban honey bun. I'm still the same person with the same virtues and defects. I love my city just the way it is. Sure we have buildings and road names reminiscent of British rule, but for every Richmond Road, we have a Sampige Road. And for every Daly Memorial Hall, We have a Ravindra Kalakshetra. Thats why I ask the government - Yaake neevu sumne hesaru change madtaidare? To me the city will always be Bangalore. Oh sorry Mr. Cultural whistle blower, I meant Namma Bengalooru.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Public Speaking

Main lights off. Spotlight on you.
Audience waits with bated breath.
After the forever wait comes the opportunity
Brilliant speech will cause certain death.

Wit and humour. You have plenty.
Set cue cards down on the stand.
Before the first word, it happens.
Stranger in a strange land.

Bedroom orater succumbs
To the most common of fears
Hush now, don't try to cry
No one will wipe the tears.

Why did it happen?
Is there no justice my brothers?
Oh grow up stupid child
A victim like the others.

Seems a myth doesn't it
Why so much hype then?
Because it's natural
Lions crawling back to the den.

Take it in your stride
Get over it if you can.
Public or private
Fear is your fan.

Audience is not the only cause
That, too well we know.
Even with the closest ones
Sometimes our feelings don't show

Whichever way you wish to succumb
Learn to come out on top.
Go forward in reverse
Jump, Skip and Hop.